How to Spot a Gay Golfer



Gay golfers are just like you and me except of course, for the gayness. For the benefit of gay readers, gay people are similar to you in the fact that they are also gay.

For the education of the non-gay audience, I have personally undertaken a very expensive scientific research program to help understand our gay golfing brothers and sisters. The results of 12 years research are as follows, in a simple to read point form that explains how to spot gay golfers:



* Gay people will openly use a chap stick (properly) in front of their playing group
* After calling "fore" from a wayward shot, will put the palms of their hands on their cheeks in shock
* Have a straw in their water bottle
* Don't bend their knees when they pick up their golf ball
* Will go for sushi after playing 18 holes
* Have named each of their clubs
* After teeing off with a driver, will kick up their back leg as they follow the ball (see image)
* Own more than two pairs of golf shoes
* Have one too many buttons on their shirts undone
* Will tell you that golf is not a phase they are going through, they knew they wanted to play from a young age
* They jingle when they walk
* Have a gallon bottle of 'Aunt Suzie's' sunscreen on board the golf cart
* Speak in a peculiarly creepy deep voice when greeting other golf groups
* Own Prada golf bags
* Are always punctual for their tee-time

I feel good knowing that this information is now available.