The Sensation Of The Hole In One

Unlike many people, Aussie Golfing has never scored a regulation hole in one in competition or regular play golf. This saddens me and is in fact one thing I would like to achieve before the dark lord comes for me. I can only imagine the pure elation of feeling the ball come off the club perfectly, then watch it creep into the hole or the unbelievable surprise to find your ball in the cup after aimlessly looking for it in the normal places golf balls are found like behind trees and under rakes.

Until that glorious day, Aussie Golfing can only try to imagine these feelings. In the meantime, what I have done is come up with the ten greatest feelings I have ever experienced and for those of you in the same situation, I'm sure you can relate.

1. Being the last person to go through the supermarket register before the clerk goes to lunch. When she passes that sign that says 'This register closed' and I put that baby behind my weekly supply of Cheetos and beef, I feel amazing and make those 'oh well' gestures to other unlucky shoppers. Perhaps a hole in one feels like this?

2. Finding that days newspaper left on the morning train

3. Buying something and having the exact change in my pocket

4. Putting in a DVD and finding I can skip the 'Video Piracy' notifications

5. Walking through a mall and there are enough samples of marinated chicken and fancy breads that I do not have to buy lunch

6. Seeing an ex girlfriend making out with a drug dealer, this makes me happy because I know it will end badly

7. Finding a car space right out front of where I need to go

8. Watching funniest home video 'Cat Specials'. I love watching those smug bastard cats falling off fences and when babies pull their tails

9. Sitting in a meeting and time runs out before I have to do a presentation that I prepared while other people were presenting theirs

10. When walking my dog, he goes to the bathroom when no one is looking and we can just stroll away

Any one of these things probably feels exactly the same as a hole in one, so I do not really feel I have missed anything to date.