Golf Your Way Into My Lovin' Arms

I received this unusual golf poem via email from a gentleman named Ted on the Australian Sunshine Coast:

"When all seems lost and love has passed by your door one too many times, you know you can golf your way into my lovin' arms.

My lovin' golfing arms will embrace you in a golfing lovin' way and until that day, believe you can golf your way into me.

Golf into me, golf all over me, golf me like you mean it and leave a little golf in me.

Free your golf from the fabric down below and take your golf and slap me, slap me dirty golf and have your way with me.

My dirty golf will treat you how you've only dreamt, or perhaps seen on the net or read in a public toilet, dirty golf your way into my lovin' arms"

I'm not going to lie to you, that's one weird poem Aussie Ted.