You will find there's lot of business backed ‘science’ in the industry shouting at us consumers that their sports clothing and gym wear goods are astounding and much better than anyone else’s.
But I’m here to express to you that it’s all a lot of crap.
Consider Power Balance bands? Remember how everyone was swayed that they have to wear one to ever reach their wellness and fitness potential?
These things sold like hotcakes!
To put it accurately, in August 2010 the Daily Mail circulated an article proclaiming that Power Balance bands sold over 2.5 million items across the globe, thanks mostly to testimonies from enormous sports superstars and celebrities including David Beckham and even Shaquille O’Neal.
I offer credit wherever credit is due along with the marketing organization right behind all these low priced wrist bands did an exceptional task convincing customers to pay out $60.00, mainly because without of their bands; they may as well sit on the recliner and quit.
Now, everyone knows these things in no way truly aided individuals training with a lot more balance, strength or focus and that their persuading demos were really just some cheap mind tricks; nevertheless I’m here to share with you that these particular things really DID work for numerous of the men and women who bought one, mainly because they thought that the bands functioned.
Are You Superstitious?
Perhaps you may know, or have heard of somebody who is superstitious and will not train or play their sport and not using a certain piece of clothing or perhaps a lucky thing of some description.
This kind of form of superstition has absolutely nothing to do with the quality or perhaps the brand of the apparel or trinket that they simply cannot conduct with out, it’s simply psychological.
Perhaps it is any article of clothing such as an old pair of socks that they’ve do not ever cleaned, or maybe a particular necklace; it doesn’t matter what the item is to anyone because it’s what that particular thing signifies in their eyes that’s significant.
Just what I’m wanting to determine here is it is not going to matter what you’re wearing, it’s your emotions every time you’re using it.
FKN Gym Wear isn’t about to convince you it’s the best type of men’s and women’s fitness clothing ever manufactured, or that you’ll have the know-how to improve your speed or lift more weight with improved workouts than previously just because you’re wearing it.
But i will tell you while wearing FKN Gym Wear, you will definitely feel awesome and also the improvement will show.
A final thought; no matter what that all those feelings when you train and also just how confident you're in your appearance have just as much to do with the consequence as what you may ate or drank prior to your regular workout, what amount of pushups that you did a week ago and just how many cute members of the opposite sex are in the region.
Feel great in your gym clothes and train insane.
How To Play Golf In Extreme Australian Heat
It's now summer in Australia, well it has been for several months, however, different regions seem to be effected by the heat at different times.
As I write this post, it is in fact forty one degrees Celsius outside my Melbourne home, or about one million degrees Fahrenheit.
To combat such heat conditions, Aussies have to assume what scientists refer to in thick, small printed books as 'complete stupidity'. You see, playing golf in these sorts of conditions is quite frankly ridiculous if you are not prepared, so I have put together my top ten ways to beat the heat and enjoy your game.
1. Play with a group of people that are all taller than you, therefore you can stay in their shade for the entire round.
2. Instead of bending over to place your tee or to pick up your ball, simply bend your knees so there is less surface area of your body exposed to the deadly sun rays. You can stay up to six degrees cooler by doing this.
3. Hit into the trees. Some golfers may find that aiming at the trees will in fact land them in the middle of the dangerous sun soaked fairway, so for golfers with a handicap of twenty or higher, simply play your regular game.
4. Drink as much alcohol as possible before and while playing. Everyone knows that when youre drunk, you don't get sunburnt till the following day.
5. Play the first nine holes twice. That way when you start the back nine, your body will be tricked into thinking that you are just starting and that it is the much cooler morning portion of the day.
6. Make a bet at the clubhouse before your round that the first person to complain about the heat has to buy everyone lunch and beer.
7. Play with attractive women. You would be surprised what kind of conditions you are willing to endure if there's a chance of getting laid.
8. Eat hot and spicy snacks to get your gizzards on fire. You can in fact take this one step further and have the worst score of each hole eat a chili. Make food fun!
9. As you play, consider how cool you look to the golfers that are to scared to come out in the heat. Rest assured, you're earning valuable street cred out there you extreme golfer you.
10. Give your golf day a summer theme, that way you're excited that it is hot!
There you have it, ten more reasons you should not miss a round this summer. Why miss out on a fun day of golf just because it is a little warm outside?
As I write this post, it is in fact forty one degrees Celsius outside my Melbourne home, or about one million degrees Fahrenheit.
To combat such heat conditions, Aussies have to assume what scientists refer to in thick, small printed books as 'complete stupidity'. You see, playing golf in these sorts of conditions is quite frankly ridiculous if you are not prepared, so I have put together my top ten ways to beat the heat and enjoy your game.
1. Play with a group of people that are all taller than you, therefore you can stay in their shade for the entire round.
2. Instead of bending over to place your tee or to pick up your ball, simply bend your knees so there is less surface area of your body exposed to the deadly sun rays. You can stay up to six degrees cooler by doing this.
3. Hit into the trees. Some golfers may find that aiming at the trees will in fact land them in the middle of the dangerous sun soaked fairway, so for golfers with a handicap of twenty or higher, simply play your regular game.
4. Drink as much alcohol as possible before and while playing. Everyone knows that when youre drunk, you don't get sunburnt till the following day.
5. Play the first nine holes twice. That way when you start the back nine, your body will be tricked into thinking that you are just starting and that it is the much cooler morning portion of the day.
6. Make a bet at the clubhouse before your round that the first person to complain about the heat has to buy everyone lunch and beer.
7. Play with attractive women. You would be surprised what kind of conditions you are willing to endure if there's a chance of getting laid.
8. Eat hot and spicy snacks to get your gizzards on fire. You can in fact take this one step further and have the worst score of each hole eat a chili. Make food fun!
9. As you play, consider how cool you look to the golfers that are to scared to come out in the heat. Rest assured, you're earning valuable street cred out there you extreme golfer you.
10. Give your golf day a summer theme, that way you're excited that it is hot!
There you have it, ten more reasons you should not miss a round this summer. Why miss out on a fun day of golf just because it is a little warm outside?
FKN Gym Wear
Have you ever found yourself searching for awesome clothes to wear to the gym but you're stuck wearing old rags and looking like a complete tool?
Check out FKN Gym Wear and check out their bad ass range of t-shirts; including:
FKNLIFT
FKNFIT
FKNRUN
Check out FKN Gym Wear and check out their bad ass range of t-shirts; including:
FKNLIFT
FKNFIT
FKNRUN
Golf In The Year 2012
As the year 2012 fast approaches and golfers become more aware of the apparent end of the world, what will it be like to try and play a friendly round after the complete destruction of the earth as we know it?
It's quite simple, everyone will probably be dead, most courses will be left unmaintained and there will be no one in the pro-shop to pay your fees to.
Zombies will rule the world and golfers, by my calculations, will be outnumbered by about 3:1. This of course concerns not only me, but 2 of my closest friends who in my opinion are prime candidates to become zombies. I havent mentioned this to them as one whom I will only refer to as 'Champagne Dave', recently borrowed my power drill and I would like it back.
So there you have it, a brief yet eloquent look into the future of golf. Now please click my advertisements so I can get rich at the expense of the earth.
It's quite simple, everyone will probably be dead, most courses will be left unmaintained and there will be no one in the pro-shop to pay your fees to.
Zombies will rule the world and golfers, by my calculations, will be outnumbered by about 3:1. This of course concerns not only me, but 2 of my closest friends who in my opinion are prime candidates to become zombies. I havent mentioned this to them as one whom I will only refer to as 'Champagne Dave', recently borrowed my power drill and I would like it back.
So there you have it, a brief yet eloquent look into the future of golf. Now please click my advertisements so I can get rich at the expense of the earth.
Terrifying True Golfing Horror Story
Once again the mail boxes have been swamped with tales of a horror story that took place in a small Australian town called Salt Lake City. As the story goes, a long time, happily married golfing couple took to the course for a regular, romantic 18 holes.
It would appear that all of the romance and serenity was too much for her gentleman suitor, who after sinking his putt on the fifth, turned to his wife and broke down, confiding that he had an affair fifteen years earlier with their serial nudist neighbour, named Julie-Anne. It was a one time passionate sexual affair, however he has been feeling incredible guilt ever since.
Mrs wife, obviously upset that her husband had in fact been unfaithful, chose to forgive and confided that she too had a long kept secret. She turned to him and said she'd gone through a sex change and was in fact born a man, however, had been a woman in her mind long before the surgery to 'lighten' the pant cargo.
The man went crazy, throwing his putter into the lake, falling to his knees he turned to his wife and cried "All this time you have been hitting from the ladies tee's!"
It would appear that all of the romance and serenity was too much for her gentleman suitor, who after sinking his putt on the fifth, turned to his wife and broke down, confiding that he had an affair fifteen years earlier with their serial nudist neighbour, named Julie-Anne. It was a one time passionate sexual affair, however he has been feeling incredible guilt ever since.
Mrs wife, obviously upset that her husband had in fact been unfaithful, chose to forgive and confided that she too had a long kept secret. She turned to him and said she'd gone through a sex change and was in fact born a man, however, had been a woman in her mind long before the surgery to 'lighten' the pant cargo.
The man went crazy, throwing his putter into the lake, falling to his knees he turned to his wife and cried "All this time you have been hitting from the ladies tee's!"
Tiger To Return Next Week!
Tiger has just announced via his official website that he will be back competing at the WGC-ACCENTURE MATCH PLAY CHAMPIONSHIP Feb. 25 - Mar. 1, 2009 at the Ritz-Carlton Golf Club, Marana, AZ. This will be Tigers first tournament since he underwent knee surgery last year.
Tiger left the game on a win claiming his third U.S Open Championship on June 16th 2008, which was also his 14th Major win.
Aussie Golfing is very happy with this news and excited to tune in as is I'm sure the golfing world at large.
Tiger left the game on a win claiming his third U.S Open Championship on June 16th 2008, which was also his 14th Major win.
Aussie Golfing is very happy with this news and excited to tune in as is I'm sure the golfing world at large.
Don't Ever Think About Golf!
Golfers who think too much about their game between shots could be affecting their performance, a study has suggested. St Andrews University and US scientists have established that too much thought made the golfer’s game worse.
They said thinking too much about the previous shot can disrupt performance. In total, 80 golfers were given shots to practise until they got it right. Those who discussed their putting between strokes took twice as long.
The study found that when the mix of skilled and novice golfers tried again, those who had discussed the shot took longer to get the shots right as those people who had spent a couple of minutes engaged in other, unrelated activities.
Psychology Professor Michael Anderson, from St Andrews University, said: "This effect was especially dramatic in skilled golfers who were reduced to the level of performance of novices after just five minutes of describing what they did.
"Novices, by contrast, were largely unaffected, and perhaps even helped a little, by verbally describing their movements. "It’s a fairly common wisdom in sport that thinking too much hurts performance; during a game it can be an obvious distraction. "However, what we found surprising is that simply describing one’s putting skill after it has been executed can be incredibly disruptive to future putting performance."
He said overthinking did not seem to affect novices because "they probably haven’t developed enough skills to forget in the first place” and claimed that top professionals would be less susceptible as they were very focused in their approach.
The researchers think the loss of performance was due to an effect called verbal overshadowing, which makes the brain focus more on language centres rather than on brain systems that support the skills in question. The study, which also involved the University of Michigan, marks the first time researchers have claimed to demonstrate that verbal overshadowing can adversely affect motor skills.
Prof Anderson said the findings may have consequences for people who take part in other sports. "This observation may have repercussions for athletes who depend on effective mental techniques to prepare for events," he added. "Moreover, those who teach golf, or any motor skill, might be undoing their own talent in the process."
So Aussie Golfing's take on all of this is if you think you're good at golf, don't think about it when you're playing or you won't be any good?
They said thinking too much about the previous shot can disrupt performance. In total, 80 golfers were given shots to practise until they got it right. Those who discussed their putting between strokes took twice as long.
The study found that when the mix of skilled and novice golfers tried again, those who had discussed the shot took longer to get the shots right as those people who had spent a couple of minutes engaged in other, unrelated activities.
Psychology Professor Michael Anderson, from St Andrews University, said: "This effect was especially dramatic in skilled golfers who were reduced to the level of performance of novices after just five minutes of describing what they did.
"Novices, by contrast, were largely unaffected, and perhaps even helped a little, by verbally describing their movements. "It’s a fairly common wisdom in sport that thinking too much hurts performance; during a game it can be an obvious distraction. "However, what we found surprising is that simply describing one’s putting skill after it has been executed can be incredibly disruptive to future putting performance."
He said overthinking did not seem to affect novices because "they probably haven’t developed enough skills to forget in the first place” and claimed that top professionals would be less susceptible as they were very focused in their approach.
The researchers think the loss of performance was due to an effect called verbal overshadowing, which makes the brain focus more on language centres rather than on brain systems that support the skills in question. The study, which also involved the University of Michigan, marks the first time researchers have claimed to demonstrate that verbal overshadowing can adversely affect motor skills.
Prof Anderson said the findings may have consequences for people who take part in other sports. "This observation may have repercussions for athletes who depend on effective mental techniques to prepare for events," he added. "Moreover, those who teach golf, or any motor skill, might be undoing their own talent in the process."
So Aussie Golfing's take on all of this is if you think you're good at golf, don't think about it when you're playing or you won't be any good?
Australian Haunted Golf Course: Mt Lawley
Aussie Golfing has had several emails informing me that the very affluent Mt Lawley Golf Club(Walter Rd, Inglewood, Perth, Western Australia) is haunted, haunted as.
It is on or about the hole named for Satan's Elbow that the apparitions are alleged to "lurk", according to a "psychic expert and clairvoyant".
Alleged paranormal activity there includes apparitions, 'celestial glows' (orbs?) and 'unnatural' sensations of terror. One woman even claimed she'd 'never felt so terror stricken in her entire life' as she had there and said it 'must be the most haunted golf course on earth'. After doing some research myself, I can confirm that it is the most haunted golf course on the planet!
What’s interesting about this is that research into the club's history by a genealogist uncovered an authentic, well supported historical incident involving a tragic, quite horrible death which occurred on the golf course in the early 1930s. All too often skeptics maintain that claims of tragic death’s at haunted locations are vague and aren’t authenticated. This one is a matter of public record. A coroner's jury ruled it a suicide, but the circumstances still sound a bit mysterious and the death created quite a few lurid headlines in the Australian press back then (at the time a suicide, especially in such an unlikely place, was treated like major news).
Young father Michael Oakleigh met a gruesome, excruciating death at 'Satan' or 'Clootie's Elbow'. Is his forlorn, unhappy ghost still haunting the Mount Lawley Golf Course today? Alleged paranormal activity includes sightings of a doleful apparition.
However, it was over seventy years ago and none of the people who claim the golf course is haunted now could have known that it ever happened. The historical section on the club's official website contains no mention of it (I don't know why - it's macabre, but unless you're a golfing enthusiast, it still appears to have been the most interesting event in the club's history).
Based on this relatively brief amount of information, I am convinced without a doubt that the Mt Lawley Golf Course is in fact haunted. It is pretty amazing to me that people say the place is haunted without knowing anything bad ever happened there. I mean you can't say these people only think it's haunted as a result of of 'force of suggestion' or whatever.
It is on or about the hole named for Satan's Elbow that the apparitions are alleged to "lurk", according to a "psychic expert and clairvoyant".
Alleged paranormal activity there includes apparitions, 'celestial glows' (orbs?) and 'unnatural' sensations of terror. One woman even claimed she'd 'never felt so terror stricken in her entire life' as she had there and said it 'must be the most haunted golf course on earth'. After doing some research myself, I can confirm that it is the most haunted golf course on the planet!
What’s interesting about this is that research into the club's history by a genealogist uncovered an authentic, well supported historical incident involving a tragic, quite horrible death which occurred on the golf course in the early 1930s. All too often skeptics maintain that claims of tragic death’s at haunted locations are vague and aren’t authenticated. This one is a matter of public record. A coroner's jury ruled it a suicide, but the circumstances still sound a bit mysterious and the death created quite a few lurid headlines in the Australian press back then (at the time a suicide, especially in such an unlikely place, was treated like major news).
Young father Michael Oakleigh met a gruesome, excruciating death at 'Satan' or 'Clootie's Elbow'. Is his forlorn, unhappy ghost still haunting the Mount Lawley Golf Course today? Alleged paranormal activity includes sightings of a doleful apparition.
However, it was over seventy years ago and none of the people who claim the golf course is haunted now could have known that it ever happened. The historical section on the club's official website contains no mention of it (I don't know why - it's macabre, but unless you're a golfing enthusiast, it still appears to have been the most interesting event in the club's history).
Based on this relatively brief amount of information, I am convinced without a doubt that the Mt Lawley Golf Course is in fact haunted. It is pretty amazing to me that people say the place is haunted without knowing anything bad ever happened there. I mean you can't say these people only think it's haunted as a result of of 'force of suggestion' or whatever.
Golf Babe In Nude Opaque Pantyhose
Once again, Aussie Golfing is proud to present a gorgeous Golfette in stunning, sexy nude colored, opaque pantyhose. Playing golf in pantyhose has advantages and disadvantages. An obvious advantage is it is like playing golf nude or naked. There is zero wind resistance and it is unlikely that the club will get caught in your pants. As for disadvantages, perhaps readers can let me know as I can't conjure any at this time.
Sorry, but even though this picture did not show any nudity, google has asked me to take down. I apologise for any inconvenience caused.
Aussie Golfing
Sorry, but even though this picture did not show any nudity, google has asked me to take down. I apologise for any inconvenience caused.
Aussie Golfing
Sexy Mini Golf Video
Who would have thought mini golf could be so much fun? Watch this casually dressed and overly boobed young lady run, jump, bend, bounce and strut her way around the worlds most treacherous mini golf course!
Assisted by nothing more than her good looks, CGI and Huey Lewis, watch her sink that ball and celebrate with enthusiasm usually reserved for pension day!
Unfortunately, playing golf in a bikini is considered to risque for youtube, so sadly this video is no longer available.
You can find more gratuitous and wonderfully untalented golfing babes by clicking here
Assisted by nothing more than her good looks, CGI and Huey Lewis, watch her sink that ball and celebrate with enthusiasm usually reserved for pension day!
Unfortunately, playing golf in a bikini is considered to risque for youtube, so sadly this video is no longer available.
You can find more gratuitous and wonderfully untalented golfing babes by clicking here
Golf and Pantyhose Together at Last
Now here's something you may not see everyday: A very sexy young woman golfer wearing a bra and pantyhose and seductively holding a golf club.
The Aussie Golfette's work hard to stay in shape and keep their golf game at a level that frightens small girls and boys however, due to the regimented training exercises and practice that is required to become and remain a Golfette the spoils far outweigh the sacrifice.
Click pics to enlarge:
More images of beautiful golf vixens both talented and untalented can be found here.
The Aussie Golfette's work hard to stay in shape and keep their golf game at a level that frightens small girls and boys however, due to the regimented training exercises and practice that is required to become and remain a Golfette the spoils far outweigh the sacrifice.
Click pics to enlarge:
More images of beautiful golf vixens both talented and untalented can be found here.
Golf Themed Porn
In my top one hundred favorite things in the world, golf and pornography have been solid top twenty, to top ten featured activities for about the last 15 years. After analyzing the positioning verses time line, both of their rankings seem to be influenced by new relationships and or breakups. As I'm presently single, I'm pleased to announce that the two of them are solid top five spare time activities at the moment.
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I am not the only guy in his thirties with similar interests! After a quick search around the net, I noticed that golf porn is actually more popular than chess porn. Note well; if you choose to Google image search "chess porn" be prepared to see a naked multi-gendered person and a picture of a woman wrist deep in what appears to be herself.
Welcome back...
The beauty of golf porn and what I noticed from most the images I saw was that the women are always smiling, almost laughing like it is a novel thing that they're doing. Yes they probably feel ridiculous but that is not the point. We the viewer are suppose to think to ourselves that what is happening in those images could potentially happen in real life.
Take this image for example. A nice day with friends, you arrive at the 13th hole and voila a naked woman is laughing and sitting on the green. I'm glad the gentleman's ball landed where it did or he would have had to two putt his way around her giant ass.
This is exactly what I'm talking about with golf porn, there is a lack of seriousness and savoir fair that you may find in other genres such as soccer porn or spring break porn.
Three stars for erotic content golf porn, three out of infinity!
Imagine my surprise when I discovered that I am not the only guy in his thirties with similar interests! After a quick search around the net, I noticed that golf porn is actually more popular than chess porn. Note well; if you choose to Google image search "chess porn" be prepared to see a naked multi-gendered person and a picture of a woman wrist deep in what appears to be herself.
Welcome back...
The beauty of golf porn and what I noticed from most the images I saw was that the women are always smiling, almost laughing like it is a novel thing that they're doing. Yes they probably feel ridiculous but that is not the point. We the viewer are suppose to think to ourselves that what is happening in those images could potentially happen in real life.
Take this image for example. A nice day with friends, you arrive at the 13th hole and voila a naked woman is laughing and sitting on the green. I'm glad the gentleman's ball landed where it did or he would have had to two putt his way around her giant ass.
This is exactly what I'm talking about with golf porn, there is a lack of seriousness and savoir fair that you may find in other genres such as soccer porn or spring break porn.
Three stars for erotic content golf porn, three out of infinity!
Hitting Golf Balls Out Of Friend's Mouths
Alcohol induced male shenanigans have been around since the dawn of time. From the cave men of Tasmania to the wise Buddhist monks of the world, men have consistently encouraged each other with cruel taunts to perform some of the worlds most important discoveries, thank you Alexander Graham Bell and Tommy Lee.
Since the invention of a little thing you might know of called 'electricity', there hasn't been any great developments in the evolving of man. That is until today my fellow golfing homosapiens. I am proud to present the next step in our progressive evolution; hitting golf balls out of your friends mouth.
Man has evolved significantly since the dark ages and natural selection has determined our path straight to golf. This kind of activity is right up there with driving golf carts on freeways and topless mini golf, which coincidentally are two of my other favorite golfing activities.
When I see this kind of commitment and teamwork, it brings a tear to my eye: Just two guys, one dream, eighteen beers.
Congratulations golf...congratulations mankind
Since the invention of a little thing you might know of called 'electricity', there hasn't been any great developments in the evolving of man. That is until today my fellow golfing homosapiens. I am proud to present the next step in our progressive evolution; hitting golf balls out of your friends mouth.
Man has evolved significantly since the dark ages and natural selection has determined our path straight to golf. This kind of activity is right up there with driving golf carts on freeways and topless mini golf, which coincidentally are two of my other favorite golfing activities.
When I see this kind of commitment and teamwork, it brings a tear to my eye: Just two guys, one dream, eighteen beers.
Congratulations golf...congratulations mankind
2009 Australian Women of Professional Golf Calendar
The 2009 Australian Women of Professional Golf Calendar is Featuring the hottest and sexiest Australian golfing talent on and off the course, female players have left behind the controversy that surrounded their raunchier first calendar last year, with a new one that will raise funds for the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
The 2009 calendar features 12 of Australia's most beautiful women golfers including: Rochelle Miiles, Christina Beltran, Kate Coombes, Marousa Polias, Danielle Montgomery, Kristie Smith, Sunny Park, Kristie Newton, Katy Jarochowicz, Tamara Hyett, Sarah Kemp as well as the tribute to Jan Stephenson.
The calendar includes 11 of the game's most exciting emerging talents in sexy outfits as well as a reproduced image of the original calendar girl, Australian golfing legend Jan Stephenson, in her famous ‘nude golf balls bath’ shot from 1986. Stephenson, a three-time major winner, was present at the calendars launch, before finishing third to Peter Senior in the Handa Cup event on the weekend.
Click on images for larger view
Calendars can be ordered from womensgolfcalendar.com and newsagents for $25 each. A percentage of the profits donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
For images of the 2007 Australian Women of Golf Calendar, click here:
The 2009 calendar features 12 of Australia's most beautiful women golfers including: Rochelle Miiles, Christina Beltran, Kate Coombes, Marousa Polias, Danielle Montgomery, Kristie Smith, Sunny Park, Kristie Newton, Katy Jarochowicz, Tamara Hyett, Sarah Kemp as well as the tribute to Jan Stephenson.
The calendar includes 11 of the game's most exciting emerging talents in sexy outfits as well as a reproduced image of the original calendar girl, Australian golfing legend Jan Stephenson, in her famous ‘nude golf balls bath’ shot from 1986. Stephenson, a three-time major winner, was present at the calendars launch, before finishing third to Peter Senior in the Handa Cup event on the weekend.
Click on images for larger view
Sarah Kemp on the cover of the 2009 Australian Women of Golf calendar
The beautiful Kristie Smith
Kristie Newton looking gorgeous
Kate Coombes
Very nice Danielle Montgomery collection, including the images of recreating Jan Stephenson's classic nude golf ball bath
The original Jan Stephenson bath image
Rochelle Miiles
Christina Beltran
Calendars can be ordered from womensgolfcalendar.com and newsagents for $25 each. A percentage of the profits donated to the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
For images of the 2007 Australian Women of Golf Calendar, click here:
Amusing Observations
I saw a fat woman golfer wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new set of golf clubs. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole some and asked him to forgive me.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I cannot get my wife to go swimming.
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my stepladder. I do not get on with my real ladder.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he was thrown out of the fire brigade.
Sex is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Aren't you going to help? I said 'No, six should be enough.'
If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
You know that look women get when they want sex. No, me neither.
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new set of golf clubs. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole some and asked him to forgive me.
I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I cannot get my wife to go swimming.
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my stepladder. I do not get on with my real ladder.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he was thrown out of the fire brigade.
Sex is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Aren't you going to help? I said 'No, six should be enough.'
If we are not supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
You know that look women get when they want sex. No, me neither.
Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before
Golf Your Way Into My Lovin' Arms
I received this unusual golf poem via email from a gentleman named Ted on the Australian Sunshine Coast:
"When all seems lost and love has passed by your door one too many times, you know you can golf your way into my lovin' arms.
My lovin' golfing arms will embrace you in a golfing lovin' way and until that day, believe you can golf your way into me.
Golf into me, golf all over me, golf me like you mean it and leave a little golf in me.
Free your golf from the fabric down below and take your golf and slap me, slap me dirty golf and have your way with me.
My dirty golf will treat you how you've only dreamt, or perhaps seen on the net or read in a public toilet, dirty golf your way into my lovin' arms"
I'm not going to lie to you, that's one weird poem Aussie Ted.
"When all seems lost and love has passed by your door one too many times, you know you can golf your way into my lovin' arms.
My lovin' golfing arms will embrace you in a golfing lovin' way and until that day, believe you can golf your way into me.
Golf into me, golf all over me, golf me like you mean it and leave a little golf in me.
Free your golf from the fabric down below and take your golf and slap me, slap me dirty golf and have your way with me.
My dirty golf will treat you how you've only dreamt, or perhaps seen on the net or read in a public toilet, dirty golf your way into my lovin' arms"
I'm not going to lie to you, that's one weird poem Aussie Ted.
Che Guevera: Immortalized In Golf
Che Guevera means a lot of things to a lot of people. For westerners, he is a cool t-shirt that may attract women thinking that the wearer is mysterious and a social activists, to others a revolutionary man that shaped lives, to golfers, a golf ball marker.I have read that the famous picture you see above is the most reproduced image in the world, so it was only a matter of time before a golf entrepreneur thought of a way to capitalize on this.
You won't find one of these in my golf bag any time soon, my Neil Armstrong pencil and The Fonz chap stick fill that 'crap in the golf bag' void.
The Sensation Of The Hole In One
Unlike many people, Aussie Golfing has never scored a regulation hole in one in competition or regular play golf. This saddens me and is in fact one thing I would like to achieve before the dark lord comes for me. I can only imagine the pure elation of feeling the ball come off the club perfectly, then watch it creep into the hole or the unbelievable surprise to find your ball in the cup after aimlessly looking for it in the normal places golf balls are found like behind trees and under rakes.
Until that glorious day, Aussie Golfing can only try to imagine these feelings. In the meantime, what I have done is come up with the ten greatest feelings I have ever experienced and for those of you in the same situation, I'm sure you can relate.
1. Being the last person to go through the supermarket register before the clerk goes to lunch. When she passes that sign that says 'This register closed' and I put that baby behind my weekly supply of Cheetos and beef, I feel amazing and make those 'oh well' gestures to other unlucky shoppers. Perhaps a hole in one feels like this?
2. Finding that days newspaper left on the morning train
3. Buying something and having the exact change in my pocket
4. Putting in a DVD and finding I can skip the 'Video Piracy' notifications
5. Walking through a mall and there are enough samples of marinated chicken and fancy breads that I do not have to buy lunch
6. Seeing an ex girlfriend making out with a drug dealer, this makes me happy because I know it will end badly
7. Finding a car space right out front of where I need to go
8. Watching funniest home video 'Cat Specials'. I love watching those smug bastard cats falling off fences and when babies pull their tails
9. Sitting in a meeting and time runs out before I have to do a presentation that I prepared while other people were presenting theirs
10. When walking my dog, he goes to the bathroom when no one is looking and we can just stroll away
Any one of these things probably feels exactly the same as a hole in one, so I do not really feel I have missed anything to date.
Until that glorious day, Aussie Golfing can only try to imagine these feelings. In the meantime, what I have done is come up with the ten greatest feelings I have ever experienced and for those of you in the same situation, I'm sure you can relate.
1. Being the last person to go through the supermarket register before the clerk goes to lunch. When she passes that sign that says 'This register closed' and I put that baby behind my weekly supply of Cheetos and beef, I feel amazing and make those 'oh well' gestures to other unlucky shoppers. Perhaps a hole in one feels like this?
2. Finding that days newspaper left on the morning train
3. Buying something and having the exact change in my pocket
4. Putting in a DVD and finding I can skip the 'Video Piracy' notifications
5. Walking through a mall and there are enough samples of marinated chicken and fancy breads that I do not have to buy lunch
6. Seeing an ex girlfriend making out with a drug dealer, this makes me happy because I know it will end badly
7. Finding a car space right out front of where I need to go
8. Watching funniest home video 'Cat Specials'. I love watching those smug bastard cats falling off fences and when babies pull their tails
9. Sitting in a meeting and time runs out before I have to do a presentation that I prepared while other people were presenting theirs
10. When walking my dog, he goes to the bathroom when no one is looking and we can just stroll away
Any one of these things probably feels exactly the same as a hole in one, so I do not really feel I have missed anything to date.
Princess Aaron Baddeley to Become Father
Great news for Australian golfing power couple Aaron and Richelle Baddeley as they are expecting their first child next month. It's not known at this point whether it will be a boy or a girl but what is certain is the age, which will be around zero.Frankly, the team here at Aussie Golfing are surprised the old boy Aaron Baddeley had it in him, in fact we still don't believe it, but I am sure the non alcoholic beverages will be flowing once the new child arrives on earth.
It was reported that Badds almost pulled out of the US PGA Tour event here when his pregnant wife was admitted to hospital. "It's been a tough pregnancy and Richelle was admitted to hospital last Thursday for precautionary reasons," the Australian said after finishing equal 10th behind Colombian winner Camilo Villegas. "I was close to pulling out and going home but she told me to stay. Everything was OK, and she had her friends and family with her. She's going to be on bed rest for the rest of the pregnancy."
Baddeley will not play at home at all this year. In fact, his 2008 season is almost over, with only one more event on his schedule, near his American home in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Aussie Golfing wishes the Baddeleys all the best.
Golfers Make Better Lovers
A recent survey proved what I have known all along and that is that Golfers make better lovers. Aussie Golfing sent along the stunning Golfettes to a local public driving range to survey eighty-five male golfers and posed the following question: "On a scale of one through ten, how would you rate yourself as a lover?" The results were astounding, with 93% of the survey exclaiming eleven or higher, 5% gave themselves a ten out of ten and 2% said "pineapples".So what makes golfers such amazing lovers? To answer this thoroughly, one has to go back to ancient times when men where treated as gods and men who golfed were even godlier. Golfers were powerful athletic men who in order to be better at golf would make love to many willing women before important tournaments and sometimes before tournaments that were not important at all. This copious amount of fornication immediately followed by golf over thousands of years found its way into the very gene pool of humanity and gave male golfers an uncanny ability to pleasure women repeatedly in one night.
For the thousands of beautiful women that read Aussie Golfing, I know what you are thinking and the answer is "yes," I am blessed with this talent.
Greg Norman Fat: Weight Concerning Family
Australian golfer and bareback horse rider, Greg Norman has gone from being the Great White Shark to the Great White Fark since settling down in his new relationship. The big guy is tipping the scales at over 320 pounds, or almost 145 kilograms! Friends and family are concerned that Greg has taken to the easy streets and it has been suggested that the new wife, former tennis ace Chris Evert's kitchen wizardry is to blame.It is no secret that Chris Evert loves tying on an apron and who else to try out all those delicious recipes on than the person of your dreams. "A little powdered sugar on that Greg?" Says Chris, "Sure darl, love some!" is the standard shark reply and who can blame him?
This now infamous image was captured while Greg was chatting online with some friends from China. You may notice that Greg’s usual trademark broad brim hat has been cast aside and substituted with a fetching Prussian blue wrestling outfit. Those Chinese sure loves a gun show and it looks like Greg has not disappointed with this display of Australian prime beef.
However, all is not well in the Norman camp. Skeptics fear that Greg has given golf away altogether, choosing to spend his time in front of the computer, locked in fierce Sudoku battles against notoriously svelte Asian adversaries.
Aussie Golfing is crossing it’s chubby fingers for you Greg and hope to see you back on the golf course soon!
Interesting 2008 Ryder Cup Images
I came across these articles in the Australian edition of the English newspaper 'International Express' and thought I'd share them. It is interesting to note that even though the Euro Ryder Cup team lost, the articles are positive and non derogatory toward the US golfers.
Way to go England showing class and maturity in defeat. Click images to enlarge.
Ask a Golf Expert: How to Drive Longer
Running a successful blog that is all about golf, I am often asked advice on many different topics, at times I am even asked about golf. I received an email from one of the millions of Aussie Golfing fans asking my advice on a common golf problem. Here is the email:
"Dear Aussie Golfing. Thank you for providing such an amayzing golfing resauce to the werld. You're wisdom and nowlege are second to nun on all things golf, in fact, if Aussie Golfing were a wimins, she would be the oracle. My kwesjon to you is, how can I hit the ball furtha off the tea? I no you are very busy, so whenever you get a chance, I look forward to your reply. Your frend Dave" From Dave, Brisbane Australia, March 1987.
Hi Dave, thanks for your email. Actually I haven't been all that busy, but the tremendous amount of spelling mistakes that your email had simply annoyed me so much that I am only now bothering to reply.
Yes you're right about many things, most importantly the part about my wisdom and knowledge, at times I am in awe myself. I have pondered this question for a furlong of time and decided to give you some suggestions numbered in no particular order, if you don't consider the numerical order that I have put them into on how to hit, or at least appear to hit a golf ball further.
Behold, my top five:
1. Go to shorter golf courses
2. Steroids
3. When you are near your ball, kick it further up the fairway when no one is looking
4. Slip your playing partners ADHD medication before the first tee
5. Wear a Titleist hat
There you have it Dave and of course, the world, five guaranteed ways to maybe be better in some way off the tee with that big fancy golf club you bought off EBay for half what you would have paid in the stores.
Good luck!
"Dear Aussie Golfing. Thank you for providing such an amayzing golfing resauce to the werld. You're wisdom and nowlege are second to nun on all things golf, in fact, if Aussie Golfing were a wimins, she would be the oracle. My kwesjon to you is, how can I hit the ball furtha off the tea? I no you are very busy, so whenever you get a chance, I look forward to your reply. Your frend Dave" From Dave, Brisbane Australia, March 1987.
Hi Dave, thanks for your email. Actually I haven't been all that busy, but the tremendous amount of spelling mistakes that your email had simply annoyed me so much that I am only now bothering to reply.
Yes you're right about many things, most importantly the part about my wisdom and knowledge, at times I am in awe myself. I have pondered this question for a furlong of time and decided to give you some suggestions numbered in no particular order, if you don't consider the numerical order that I have put them into on how to hit, or at least appear to hit a golf ball further.
Behold, my top five:
1. Go to shorter golf courses
2. Steroids
3. When you are near your ball, kick it further up the fairway when no one is looking
4. Slip your playing partners ADHD medication before the first tee
5. Wear a Titleist hat
There you have it Dave and of course, the world, five guaranteed ways to maybe be better in some way off the tee with that big fancy golf club you bought off EBay for half what you would have paid in the stores.
Good luck!
Golf Pro's: What Are We Paying For?
There is an old joke, "What do you call the person that came last at medical school? Doctor". It's funny because it is true. I'm sure the new doctors look the part and they charge a fortune and the diploma on the wall is convincing even though it doesn't show a 'placing' so we are none the wiser. The same can be said about your local golf pro.Here's a guy or girl that is little more than a glorified personal trainer and charging about the same rate. One would assume since these people have completed a three year apprenticeship that there would be some uniformity in teaching and perhaps some physiological understanding of the human body and biomechanics, apparently not.
I've had lessons with quite a few different pro's due to my moving around and not one pro has really respected my previous coaches advice, asking nothing more than if I'd had lessons before. Maybe I've only ever had dud coaches as I do prefer to frequent the public courses.
Most of the time the golf pro's dress like they mean it, in there slacks, polo and cap but there must be more to this gig. I did some research on what is required and apparently, to my surprise, it is not exactly rocket science.
To qualify, they must have a reasonable ability at golf, be competent at club fitting and repair, some business skills and learn the rules of golf. From then on, the hardest part is probably finding a job. In my opinion, their ability at golf should carry more weight then business savvy, however that is not the case. I'm not sure how many professional football players can make a soccer ball, or if Michael Jordan has ever painted lines on a basketball court, but it seems that golf is an anomaly when it comes to professional status.
So next time I look for a golf pro, I'm looking for the trophies, or the Ferrari in the car park before I hand my hard earned cash over to the golf club repair man!
Golf at the Paralympics
Once again, golf was nowhere to be seen at the 2008 Paralympics and frankly, I am sick and tired at the lack of 'lympics' in modern golf. Golf itself is the father of all handicaps, yet it's the very people that have taken this great word and used it for their own devices and completely turned their backs on the game.The very premise of golf is to lower ones handicap, perhaps it is the very nature of the game that annoys disabled people since their handicaps cannot be reduced, at least off the golf course.
Handicapped people golfers are people too as well as handicapped and they should be given an opportunity to be handicapped on national television playing golf at the ability of a ten-year-old non-handicapped golfer.
I ask the IOC why the grudge against golf being contested in regular Olympics has carried over to Paralympics, haven't these people been through enough already? The last time golf was played at the Olympic level was in 1908. And coincidentally, the winning scores from then are what handicapped golfers today are hitting one hundred years later!
Maybe in 2012 disabled and handicapped golfers can walk/hop together as brothers and strive for Olympic glory.
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