Unfortunately I can't take the credit for these funny golf gems, but they're brilliant and this blog isn't complete without them. Enjoy golf's Murphy's Law:
* A golf ball you can see in the rough from 50 meters away is not yours.
* Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
* When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can hit either one more club or two more balls.
* The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
* No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
My personal favorite:
* Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
* A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.
* Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
* You can hit a two-acre fairway 10 per cent of the time and a two-inch branch 90 per cent of the time.
* Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
* When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball . . . if you ever want to see it again.
* Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
* There are two things you can learn by stopping your back swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: How many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
* If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint
* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
* It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight (or worse).
You can find more hilarious golf humor here:
