Golf Humor: 15 Classic Golf Quotes

After scouring the earth searching for humorous golf quotes, these are my top 15 in no particular order.


"A ball will always come to rest halfway down a hill, unless there is sand or water at the bottom." Henry Beard

"I'm the best; I just haven't played yet." Muhammad Ali

"I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." Australia's Greg Norman

"You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work." Lee Trevino

"I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced." Lee Trevino

"Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore', shoot six, and write down five." Paul Harvey

"These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow." Sam Snead

"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." Jimmy Demaret

"If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball" Jack Lemmon

"I don't care to join any club that's prepared to have me as a member" Groucho Marx

"I don't need to know where the green is. Where is the golf course?" Babe Ruth, playing Pine Valley

"When you start driving your ball down the middle, you meet a different class of people" Phil Harris

"The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music." "Silk Stockings" TV Show

"I know I'm getting better at golf because I'm hitting fewer spectators." Gerald Ford

"Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun." Unknown

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